Contractions

Since it's been leaked, I may as well come out and address the really big headlines that two papers and one worldwide web had about me today. First, my agent and I have parted ways. Second, we've parted ways because my team of thirteen years is going to allegedly attempt to void my existing contract. Let me respond to each and then retreat to my couch and pillow tandem.

My current former agent, who shall for now on be addressed as Tiger Woods' Caddy, told my employers I was going to opt out of my contract and take a very generous buyout. While I had been leaning in that direction, I never flat out said I'd do it. Yes, I led on Tiger Woods' Caddy. Call me a golf club tease. But since I never actually said or wrote or hummed "I am retiring," there was room for me to opt back in for next season.

Still, the team talked to him, not to me, so they were under the same impression as Tiger Woods' Caddy, that I was done. Over. Out. All three parties are to blame for not communicating directly. I know they wanted Jimmy Scott 1994-2006. They don't want Jimmy Scott 2007-2008. But hey, insurance covered 80% of my contract last year for them and they still made hand over fist on ticket, concession and internet revenue, much of that because of players like me who have stayed with the team through collusion ('95), a bad strike ('99) and took a "hometown discount" in 2004 to finish my career in NY. I did say that. Here's the quote. "I am going to finish my playing career in NY." (I actually said "NY" and not "New York." Kind of took away some of the power of the statement, don't you think?)

So, if you consider the revenue I helped generate for the team, the money I let them keep so they could afford me through 2008, and the goodwill we've generally felt for each other for the last thirteen years, you'd be surprised this issue has gone this far.

What happens next? Vanessa says I should get everyone together in one room - me, team and Tiger Woods' Caddy - and talk it out. She thinks chances are good, based upon the reasons stated above, that we can work this all out before more lawyers get involved than the army needed for Katie Holmes' and Tom Cruise's pre-nup. She says it would be big of me to be the first one to pick up the phone and make the calls. It's times like these I wish I had an ex-wife's shoulder to cry upon. An ex-wife would listen and take my side and tell me I'm in the full right here. Then I'd hand her the monthly $64,000 alimony check and return to my current family.

It's not clear what I'll do yet, but you can be sure I'll lead Tiger Woods' Caddy on more than I have to. He's more fun when he's mad.